Wow, what a plot twist!
Samantha McAllister has everything – every girl in her school wants to be like her. She is beautiful, confident, and part of the most famous clique in her highschool. The right makeup and clothes seem to be the most important thing for her. Under the shiny surface, however, Sam suffers from Purely-Obsessional OCD and dark thoughts that she can’t turn off. It also doesn’t help that her so-called ‘best friends’ are getting more and more toxic than nice.
“’You know what you need?’ I don’t answer her, and after a long pause she says, ‘Nicer friends.’” (p.34)
That’s why Sam tries everything to keep her weekly visits to her psychiatrist a secret, just as well as her lurking worries and obsessions. When she meets Caroline, however, everything seems to change by the heartbeat. In her new friend she finds a sympathetic ear and the access to a whole new world.
“This room changed her life. And it’s just beginning to change mine.” (p. 324)
“She speaks her mind and she doesn’t care what people think about her. I’ve always been too scared to be that person, but that’s who I want to be, all the time, not only when I’m alone with you, and not just on Monday and Thursday afternoon during lunch.” (p. 333)
Poet’s Corner, a small group of misfits and outsiders, shows her how to express her emotions and how to verbalize them. While poetry slowly becomes a bigger part of her life, Sam starts to feel more and more normal. Until something happens that makes her question her sanity altogether…
“’[A]ll my life, I’ve just wanted to be normal. You made me feel like I was. I was afraid that if I told you, I wouldn’t feel normal anymore.’ He laughs. ‘I made you feel normal? You do realize I’m pretty far from normal, right?’”
My opinion (contains SPOILERS):
You guys, the plot twist… it just blew me away, and I honestly did not see it coming!!
Mental health as a topic has slowly made its way from a taboo to an everyday topic that’s becoming more and more socially acceptable. Sam and her OCD make the book real and captivating, and the author manages to make a very serious topic seem light.
I really liked the book, serious topic and all. What I thought could have made it even better is seeing Sam and her sister Paige having a growing relationship with each other, as she is mentioned several times, but doesn’t really play a role. I did like her mother, though. The way she always stayed calm and helped Sam when she needed it most was very nice to see.
At first I found it strange that Sam’s so called best friends were all sort of undistinguishable, they seemed like the Plastics from Mean Girls to me, all shallow and vain. But then it dawned on me that this was probably intended, they were not meant to be characters to identify with, so it didn’t really matter. Sam’s friends from Poet’s Corner, on the other hand, though superior in numbers, were all unique characters you just had to like.
When I picked the book up, I immediately needed to know what would happen next. I was completely sucked in, and so I finished the book in a day. Many elements in the book surprised me and left me crying or laughing with real emotions. Nothing about it made me feel bored and you could really feel with Sam. This need to protect her secret from her friends is more than understandable, but it’s nice to see her open up over time, and feeling more and more comfortable with who she is. I especially liked to see this part of Sam – the fact that she changed and developed as a character – even though she isn’t ‘cured’ per se in the end, she seems to have a different relationship with her illness in the end of the story, and is not as restricted by it. “Summer Sam”, the girl she likes to be most, the one that is happier and freer, seems to show itself more by the end of the book.
Next to the illness, there is also the romance part of the story that needs to be mentioned. Although Sam is always seemingly crushing on someone, she never really fell in love. Until AJ, that is. I find their relationship very sweet and it’s nice to see that they have a deeper connection, which allows them to share many swoonworthy moments.
All in all I can say that I really liked the book – so much that I had to finish it in a day! However, there was something missing for me to say that I loved it, but I cannot really put my fingers on it. The plot twist was amazing, the idea with Poet’s Corner is nice and refreshing, there were many likeable characters and a supportive family which I really like, and it was very interesting to have a look ‘into’ Sam’s mind and how it functions with her OCD – the challenges she needs to face every day, and how she copes. But still, something I cannot name was missing for me to give it the fifth star.
Do you know what that little ‘something’ might be? Did you find Sam and her worries relatable, too, and did you like her new friends from Poet’s Corner? Tell me in the comments below!!
